Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Exams Are Ending Soon

Examinations are ending in 2 days, and I have gotten to a whole new level of realization about myself within these 2 to 3 months. Writing this post now before my next exam is not very inspiring when I can spend the time studying but I have already S/Ued today's module. The real battlefield will be Intermediate Macroeconomics tomorrow. Looking back, there were many steps or things I could have done to make my studies a little bit stronger, but I was too engrossed with the day to day life that I was not thinking about the future. Living in the present, comfortably without worrying about what the future holds looked good 3 months back, but with the onset and end of exams, now look incredibly foolish. I have violated my own plan, and I can only pray for divine intervention that I will somehow be able to maintain my GPA for this semester. As such, I have actually S/Ued 2 modules, leaving only 3 to be graded.

My experience these past 3 months got me thinking about a whole range of issues. How many times do people live in their comfort zone thinking the next day will be better? I have always and repeatedly made the same mistakes. The real reason is why am I such a good consoler to myself? I kept thinking the next day, week, month will be better but I only got down to it at the last few weeks. This is actually something I am really trying to fix because it is really a serious flaw that is going to prevent me from my dreams next time. I guess I was too complacent and only after going to the bulge bracket bank's interview, realized that I am not that good afterall, even more so if I do not do so well for this semester.

I have blogged about comfort zone before, and I am doing it now again. Am I inherently prone to the same mistakes of adequacy again and again? No, I will not accept this and have decided to cut off my afternoon nap habit as a start. I did not sleep yesterday afternoon and I am going to try hard not to sleep again today. The real path to changing is rigged with many difficulties and everyday is a challenge. I will be focused and carry out all my technical studies for my future, and investment and banking related materials once I am overseas as well. The one month before school reopens is crucial to me. I do not want to be a caterpillar anymore. I will also practise my speech abilities and start going for more networking and workshops to build myself up. I have never been comfortable at these kind of events but if I do not move forward, I will be left behind. Adequacy is a real threat that is constantly around me.

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